


When I look on in your eyes

by Hectatess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, M/M, Memories, Post-High School, School Reunion, bartholomew is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 21:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hectatess/pseuds/Hectatess
Summary: He hates himself for doing this. He never should have come to this reunion. It’sexactlylike being back in high school.When Cas goes to his high school reunion, the bullies are still the same, the desperate, love sick girls have evolved into desperate, love sick ladies, and Cas just needs a breather. So he goes to sit outside, huddled against the rain.But someone has his back, and comes to sit with him.





	When I look on in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in one day, inspired by the song ‘74-‘75 and the Destielfresh hits prompt of ‘quiet’.  
> My handicap is -39.  
> Good Chuck you guys! I’m blushing at that!

It was too much. The throng of people, the vague, questioning looks, wondering who he was again, and if he really belonged here.  
He never should have come. He should have ripped up the invitation and not bothered.  
“Castiel!” a female voice called out and Cas stiffened. “Yes?” he answered carefully. The blue eyed brunette that came dancing up to him smiled. “Hannah,” she supplied. “Remember?”  
Oh, yes, he remembered alright. He remembered her coming on to him, several times, and he remembered telling her time and again he wasn’t interested.  
“Yes. Hannah,” he answered politely. “I do remember you. How are you?”  
She shied away a bit, not really looking him in the eye. “Oh, you know,” Hannah mumbled. “Same old. Got a guy, got a kid, lost a guy, lost a kid.”  
Horrified that she could act so casual about losing a child, Cas gaped at her. “I am so sorry!” he exclaimed. “What happened? Was the child ill?”  
Hannah tittered, and instantly, Cas was squicked. A grown woman shouldn’t titter.  
“Ah. Nonono....” Hannah laughed lightly. “No, little Pete is fine. He just lives with his father, because the judge found that an absent father with enough money to buy a slew of nannies was better than an out of work mom, who was willing to work from home to be with her boy. So now I only see him every other weekend. And you?”

Cas sighed. Another divorced woman, who thought maybe she could be the one to catch him.  
“I’m doing rather well,” he answered. “I got a degree in Mythology and Religious Studies, and I teach at KU.”  
Hannah’s eyes flashed in interest. “No wife?” she blatantly asked, and Cas was about ready to scream. “No,” he coldly replied. “And you shouldn’t have expected any other answer, now should you? Even when we were back in high school, I told you I am gay. So, no. No wife, no kids. Just me and my apiary. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to get myself another drink.”  
He walked away without waiting for a reply, or even watching her face fall. He was fed up and decided to find another way to make this evening more enjoyable.

“Hey, Novak,” came a jeering voice behind him. Already bracing himself, Cas turned, to find the cold eyes of Bartholomew taking him in. Dear old Bart. One of the worst homophobes in his class. With grim satisfaction, Cas noticed he may not have outgrown Bart, but at least he was broader in his shoulders. “You still taking it up the tailpipe, Novak?” Bartholomew grinned. “Or have you finally come to your senses?” His cronies, Ishim and Uriel, guffawed.  
Inwardly boiling with anger, but outwardly calm and collected, Cas raised one eyebrow. “Really, Bartholomew?” he asked airily. “Twenty years have passed, and you learned nothing new? I’m so sorry your personal growth stopped once you graduated. Excuse me.”  
He took the drink Becky Rosen had poured him, and walked off, back straight, head held high. But his eyes franticly searched for a way out of this gym. There! The fire-exit door stood slightly ajar, and no-one seemed to notice.  
Behind him, voices were raised, but Cas couldn’t make himself turn and see why. He just needed to get away from these inconsiderate, uneducated idiots and their bigoted minds.  
A quick glance around to see if no-one saw him slipping out, he pushed open the door and dashed through.

It was raining, and Cas thought it fitting for his mood.  
He sat on the fire escape, huddled against the wall, trusting to keep dry. The slight overhang from the roof gave him about five feet of dry space to crawl up in. He stared into the almost empty cup. He’d really like another drink, a stiff one, but that would mean going back inside. Sadly, he stared at the pouring rain, occasionally shivering.  
“Hey,” a soft voice called out caringly. Cas stiffened. It couldn’t be. For as long as he’d been inside that gym, Cas had been on the look out for the owner of this voice, and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair.  
“Cas,” came that voice again, and Cas turned his head to the wall, squeezing his eyes shut to not let the forming tears escape. Only this person ever called him Cas, and it tore at his heart.  
“Cas, c’mon,” the voice cajoled. “At least look at me.”  
Cas shivered again, not just with cold this time, but also under the flood of feelings that dragged him under.  
A warm jacket was draped over him, and the familiar smell of old leather drifted into Cas’ nose.  
“Dean...” It came out all pinched and longing, and Cas wanted to cry so badly.  
“Hiya Cas. Knew you’d know me,” Dean answered, and Cas could picture that crooked smile and the twinkling green eyes flawlessly.  
“Why are you here, Dean?” he managed, his tone both bone tired and accusing.

Dean sat down next to him.  
Following the movement from the corner of his eyes, Cas bit his lip. Still graceful, despite his slightly bowed legs, and twenty years of getting stiffer.  
“Cause it’s where you are,” Dean softly said. “Cas... I missed you.”  
Cas closed his eyes. “Don’t,” he begged. “I’m not worth that.”  
A scoff. “Mind if I decide that for myself, pal?”  
Finally, Cas turned to look at Dean. He hadn’t changed that much. Still the short, spiky, sandy hair, those plush, kissable lips, and those deep, green eyes.  
Eyes that were taking him in inch by slow inch.  
“I came here for you, Cas,” Dean confessed, pulling out his phone. Curious, Cas tilted his head at the device. “I wasn’t gonna come at all, but...” Dean shrugged, tapped the screen and showed Cas what he meant.

**Received: Sam. Today 8.25 pm.  
Dude. He’s here.**

**Sent: Sam. Today 8.25 pm.  
So? He cut me off Sammy. I don’t think he’ll want to see me.**

**Received: Sam. Today 8.27 pm.  
Dude. Seriously? He came alone, and he has been searching the crowd since he came in.**

**Sent: Sam. Today 8.28 pm.  
Probably looking for Hannah. They were friends, right?**

**Received: Sam. Today 8.31 pm.  
Nope. He just blew her off like lint. Still looking around.**

**Sent: Sam. Today 8.33 pm.  
Butt out, you sasquatch.**

**Received: Sam. Today 8.35 pm.  
Dude... nothing has changed. They’re still horrible to him! I had to out Bart to Ishim and Uriel. Had to remind him about Jeremy. Shit, was he always such a dick?**

**Received: Sam. Today 8.36 pm.  
Dean... Dean, he ran. It’s pouring out and he just slipped away.**

**Sent: Sam. Today 8.36 pm.  
On my way.**

Cas stared at Dean, his blue eyes searching Dean’s green ones.  
“Dean...” he started, but Dean held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.  
“I know, Cas. I know. I do not need to fight your battles for you.” He locked his eyes on Cas’. “But I do need answers. Why, Cas? Why did you block me?”  
Cas hung his head as the memories crashed over him.

_They had been friends for years. Dean and him. Little did Dean realise Cas was developing feelings for him, and Cas sure as Hell wasn’t gonna tell him. Since sophomore year, Cas had known he wasn’t interested in girls. He didn’t tell anybody, until Hannah was pushing him to go on a date, and he snapped. He was sure Dean, red blooded American boy Dean, would turn away from him, but Dean had nodded and with a proud smirk patted Cas on the shoulder. “That’s the way to do it, Cas. I’m proud of you, standing up like that. Good on you.”_  
_And Dean had ignored the fact that Cas was gay. He’d just kept going on like nothing had changed.  
Cas had challenged him on it and he’d just shrugged. “Dude, you’re still Cas. Nothing changed.” Dean had said and shyly bumped his brow against Cas’._

_Then they’d graduated, and on one of the graduation parties, Dean and Cas both had a lot to drink. Afterwards, Cas would say about that night. “I had found a liquor store, and I drank it.”_  
_They’d ended up on a heap of mismatched pillows, bodies entwined in a way that for sober people was very intimate. But they had been commode-hanging drunk, and they’d just stared at each-other with sozzled eyes. “Cas,” Dean had nearly whispered. Cas had to squint in the darkness of their secluded corner to see his face. “Yes, Dean?”_  
_Dean had chuckled softly. “I love that about you,” he’d smiled warmly. “You always sound like you swallowed a thesaurus.”_  
_Cas’ heart had started Jack-rabbiting when Dean said ‘love’, but it was just a trait he ‘loved’._  
_“Cas,” Dean had said again, looking him straight in the eyes. “I think I wanna kiss you. I have been thinking about that most of the year. You made me realise, I might like guys too. May I kiss you?”_  
_Sadly, the alcohol had fried most of Cas’ higher brain-functions, and he just stupidly nodded._

_Dean’s lips had been soft, warm and pliant, making Cas moan deep in his throat. Dean had moved his lips gently, tasting, nipping sweetly at Cas’ lower lip. Cas had felt he drifted off on a soft cloud of sensations. “You like that, Castiel?” Dean’d rumbled. The use of his full name in that sexy voice had Cas part his lips as he nodded. Dean had keened softly at the sight and kissed him again, deeper, more wanting._  
_When his tongue had slid softly in the gap, moving from left to right, Cas opened willingly._  
_Their tongues had danced._  
_Dean had tasted of beer and tequila, and underneath that, of pure Dean._  
_Cas’ hand had slid over Dean’s shirt, brushing the hard pebbles of his nipples, which had made Dean gasp and push his chest against Cas’ hand._  
_“Cas, uhn... buddy... Cas... I want you,” Dean had moaned against Cas’ mouth and Cas had to agree, this was hot. They had made out, kissing hungrily, horny, yet softly. Hands had wandered over clothes, under them, touching bare skin and drawing fiery paths along it.  
It had ended with them rutting against each-other, and coming in their pants._

_The next morning, Cas had been red-faced with shame when Gabriel had come to pick him up and only quirked a knowing eyebrow at the sleeping form of Dean, wrapped around Cas like an octopus. “Fun night, eh, Cassie-bean?” Gabriel had simply stated when he noticed the soiled pants on the both of them. Dean had made a soft noise of protest when Cas distracted himself from those warm arms, and Cas just knew he couldn’t face Dean again. He had turned and walked away, locking himself in his bedroom, instructing Gabriel to tell anyone who asked, that he’d left to some summer camp. After the summer vacation was over, Cas had moved to Stanford._

And now he was back here, and Dean was sitting right there, asking him why he’d done what he had done. Desperation clawed his way up. After Dean, no-one had been interesting enough. Cas had tried, oh he had tried. With Balthazar, with Inias, with Fergus, even with a girl named April once, but his heart and soul never forgot Dean.  
“Why?” he punched out. “You want to know _why_?”  
Quietly, Dean nodded, respecting Cas’ space.  
“Dean, you weren’t interested in _me_!” he stated harshly. “You were just curious. You just needed to know if a boy could get you off like Lisa or Lydia.”  
Dean chewed his cheeks, green eyes hard and obviously reining in his temper.  
“Is that so?” he quietly asked. “Ok. Then explain me this, Castiel Novak: why am I not married, with 2.4 kids, a white picket fence and a dog?”  
Cas bit his lip and turned away again. “How should I know?” he muttered bitterly.  
Suddenly, Dean grabbed him by the face with two hands, forcing his eyes on Dean’s.  
“Because I loved you, you damned fool!” Dean burst out. “I still do!”  
Before Cas could react, Dean had pressed his lips to Cas’ and kissed him with desperation. Shocked, Cas froze for a second, but then he kissed Dean back just as eagerly.

When Dean finally pulled back, they were both panting.  
“I never stopped loving you, Cas,” Dean softly confessed. “I tried. I tried to be angry, to grieve, but I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t forget you.”  
A wry smirk slid over his handsome face and he continued. “Not that I could, what with Sam keeping me posted on anything you did. Congrats on the summa cum laude by the way. Might be a bit late, but still proud of ya.”  
Cas gaped. “Sam?” he queried. “What... how does Sam fit in here?”  
The look Dean gave him was equal parts amused and surprised.  
“You don’t know?” he asked, his eyes searching Cas’ face intensely.  
Cas shook his head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”  
Dean dropped his head, mumbling under his breath.  
“What was that?” Cas asked innocently.  
With a grim expression on his face, Dean looked up. “Remember when Gabriel graduated?” he asked, seemingly out of the blue.  
Nodding Cas kept his gaze steadily on Dean. “Yes. He kept annoying us with how he ‘would not move until his _secret boyfriend_ had graduated too.’ It took him five damned years! I was already done with my Bachelors.”  
Smirking at Cas actually using finger quotes, Dean nodded. “Yeah. Exactly. And how many relationships has Gabe _had_ since then?”  
A frown pulled on Cas’ brow. “None I can think of. He moved to Stanford from here, and then back here seven years later.”  
Never stopping his nodding, Dean pulled Cas closer, as if he was anticipating an angry outburst or something.  
“Right. Now, tell me, when did Sammy graduate from here?”  
“Four years be..hind... us... five behind Gabriel.”  
A kiss to his temple. “That’s my smart angel,” Dean cooed softly in Cas’ hair. “And how long does it take to study to become a lawyer?”  
Cas quickly thought back to all his career advice talks. “Seven... years... son of a...”

Dean started chuckling. “Sammy and Gabe have been exclusive since they met. Sure, they both chat about sexy persons a _lot_. But do they do the deed with any of them? I think not.”  
Cas clenched his jaw tightly. “So they have been spying on me? For you?”  
Dean backed off. “Whoa! Nonono! That was all them. I repeatedly asked them to quit it. I never wanted to be that creep. Yeah, you were my sorry-ever-after, but Hell I respected your privacy.”  
He cast a careful glance at Cas, most likely to gauge his temper. “But barbecues and thanksgiving dinners are events when you did crop up at times. Gabe loves you man. And he just wanted the best for you.”  
Remembering all those nights when the loneliness had become unbearable and he had gotten very drunk and then called his big brother to cry about it, Cas blushed deeply. “So... your knew exactly when I got hired at KU?”  
Again Dean smirked. “Nah. That was a bit of a shocker, when I had to tow old Zach Adler’s clunker and I saw your Lincoln. Dude, she looks pretty ok, considering.”  
Cas smiled too. “Considering what, Dean?” he teased.  
“Considering I’m not her mechanic,” Dean grinned. “I’m sure I can make her beautiful, like Baby.”  
With a warm smile, Cas pecked a kiss on Dean’s hair. “Thank you Dean. That means a lot to me. I just couldn’t give her up. You rebuilt her for me.”  
Warm smile still in place, Dean just cuddled up with Cas, staring at the rain. Cas held him close and stared too, thoughts whirling through his mind as he barely noticed the sheets of water coming down.  
Quiet reigned for long minutes, but it was a comfortable quiet. One where two people finally found their home.


End file.
